Since nothing is really happening these days –me still being in that depressed stage and all, I have decided to blog some old notes which once I wrote on a sheet of paper. They are random ideas which were going trough my mind year and a half ago – when I first met someone special. If you know me from before I have most likely shared these notes with you , either in person – or elsewhere.

Such a warm skin, such a feeling, I wonder if ….I guess…hmm…Are these only 10 billion beats going trough my heart – but can this ever be true – now or ever? … smiled – keep me on the ground. Can I explode- the feeling isn’t that simple at all. Such a cutie
This could be a very special night – but fuck the words. How can I avoid the problem – do I have one? I guess I do – lets try to mediate. Such a mf night being at the same room with someone I like , but am not sure what the hack is going on…so go and try and die or embrace the stupid destiny.

Fuck the stupid world. When the pain is breaking my heart into two pieces. Part of me loves … even more but the other part hates . All I can see is my inner-self and I am afraid of it, I even feel sorry for it. It’s me but not the person which others see. It’s me but the love is gone. It lies in the ground dead and breathless. It can not recover. It never will. And just one word was enough to prevent all this to happen, word never spoken. Word, I’ve been hearing over and over in my mind. I can not understand. I do not want to understand. … is all I want. My only desire.

I took the liberty to edit a bit my original thoughts, not much – just took out few he/she/it etc and one or two words – small one , so if you read this for a first time , you won’t even notice.